For the married & yet-to-get-married guys…. Take note!!!


The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this and the men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.

DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.


13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. ****y Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

FW: A womans poem

> A Woman's Poem
>
> He didn't like the casserole
>
> And he didn't like my cake.
>
> He said my biscuits were too hard...>
>
> Not like his mother used to make.
>
> I didn't perk the coffee right
>
> He didn't like the stew,
>
> I didn't mend his socks
>
> The way his mother used to do.
>
> I pondered for an answer
>
> I was looking for a clue.
>
> Then I turned around and smacked him...
>
> Like his Mother used to do.

I was sent this by a male colleague:


A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.



While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.



The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.



As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she Had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.



After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."



He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.



Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"



Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."



Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere.



How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"



Clearing his throat, he stammered .... "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming.... that was me.":surrender:

I had missed this thread. All excellent :laugh: :laugh: