Haydon
14-06-2007, 12:20 PM
Ruthlessly taken from an article on MSN Entertainment (http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/tv/realitytv/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5243698).
by Dom Brookman, MSN Homepage Editor
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Apprentice Awards 2007
So The Apprentice has finished, after a rollercoaster 12-week ride. Sir Alan hired 27-year-old internet entrepreneur Simon Ambrose over the favourite, sales manager Kristina Grimes. Re-live the highlights with our special round-up of all the highs and lows.
Classic moments
3) Tre and Simon's 'The Odd Couple' routine – demonstrated with a montage of clips in You're Hired.
2) Tre and Rory's argument in the dog accessory task. 'I AM your boss,' says Rory, trying pointlessly to assert authority. 'You're nothing to me,' replies Tre dismissively.
1) Simon's almost pornographic display whilst attaching the legs to his trampoline on live television. The studio floor crew wetting themselves… Sir Alan watching aghast… Simon grinning like a fool and proudly stating that 'you can really enjoy yourself.'
Top 10 quotes
10) ‘If you can break bricks with your hands, you can do anything!’ – Ifti Chaudhri
9) ‘When you play eight games of football and you lose six, you're called a bloody loser!' – Sir Alan explains how it works to Katie.
8) 'Saying I'm going to take you on holiday with Rory, Jadine and Lohit is like saying I'm going to stab you in the eye with a rusty screwdriver.' – Tre's not all that keen on Simon's offered incentive for winning the final task.
7) ’Kristina is a complete snake in the grass, a pain in the **** and frankly too orange to be taken seriously.’ – Katie (a bit rich considering her 1980s make-up catastrophes).
6) ‘Nipples and fish – what a combination.’ – Obviously not the type of pictures Tre hangs on the walls of his global offices.
5) ‘I know that life's not always biscuits and sandwiches’ – nods Jadine Johnson sagely. Nobody knows what she means by this, but we're pretty sure she's right.
4) ‘If you are over-talking, I will send you out! OK? I won't have it! Please stop swearing! If you are brainstorming, take your jackets off.’ – Rory Laing tries to take control.
3) ‘Whenever there’s an issue, Kristina tries to cover her ****. It’s a shame she doesn’t do it a little better with the skirt she wears.’ – Katie Hopkins sticks the knife in… again.
2) 'There'll be no busty blonde outside so you can sob into her bosoms.' – Sir Alan lets the gang know what they shouldn't be expecting.
1) ‘When your best friends are Mr Pinot and Mr Grigio, you want to watch it.’ – always said with a smile, Katie's insults are legendary.
Top 5 Sir Alan moments
5) Not being able to ‘get over the lips’ on the selling pictures task.
4) Calling Eclipse’s lollypops ‘sick on a stick’.
3) Being so cross in the aftermath of Episode 1 that he shouts ‘Nillywilly’ in the Boardroom.
2) His very good impression of a Little Britain 'laydee' ('Ooooh! We've got them in small, medium and large!') as he demonstrated his sympathy for Lohit having to sell women's underwear on television. 'As if he's interested in tight panty girdles…'
1) Giving it straight to Katie in You're Hired after seeing all her bitchy comments towards Kristina throughout the series.
Top 3 Nick and Margaret moments
3) Nick getting impatient with Stealth’s gardening task. ‘Their strategy is appalling... badly organised... aimless... waste of time.’
2) Margaret getting to grips with ‘beat boys’ and ‘bump and grind’.
1) Nick’s ‘lips made for sin’ leer at Katie in You’re Fired.
Best Tasks
3) Selling English food in a French market – Paul thinking that industrial size blocks of cheddar from Macro would appeal to the French… Adam's banner stating that they were selling 'Traditional Products of English Man'… the look on Katie's face when she realised that loverboy Paul had been fired…
2) Selling on live TV – how quickly the mighty fall….
1) Marketing trainers - Simon’s rapping, Tre’s look of disgust… classic episode.
Worst Tasks
3) Selling coffee – the first task is always one of the lesser episodes – too many people to get to know too quickly.
2) Buying the list of items at the lowest price possible – I never want to hear the phrase 'nigella seeds' again.
1) Selling to the trade – uninteresting products, no real comedy moments or classic quotes, and watching Jadine's unhappiness was uncomfortable.
Most cringeworthy moments
5) Kristina not being able to handle a steam broom during the live TV task.
4) Any of Katie’s shameless flirting with Sir Alan.
3) Simon bounding gleefully on the trampoline on live TV.
2) Jadine’s attempt at ‘singing’ in the office.
1) Simon rapping and ‘street dancing’ – he’s so ‘street’.
Top 5 feuds
5) Adam v Natalie (zoo task)
4) Naomi v Jadine (providing a service task)
3) Tre v Jadine (selling coffee task)
2) Kristina v Katie (pick an episode!)
1) Tre v Rory (dog accessory task, and the final episode)
The Frances the receptionist award for best receptionist
1) Frances the receptionist
Worst personal website
3) Ghazal Asif – www.ghazalasif.com – Still waiting for her Apprentice reflections (‘Coming soon – week by week diary!’). Ghazal love, the series has finished! And her obvious inability to use apostrophes… be it selling £12 lippy’s… with my father’s change of businesses’… the do's and dont's.
2) Adam Hosker – www.adamhosker.co.uk – Dull, dull, dull. Quite fitting to his personality however.
1) Geri Blackwood – www.gerriblackwood.com – How old are you woman?! And you want to be taken seriously as an entrepreneur?
Most likely to get their own tabloid column
3) Paul Callaghan – ‘Cooking sausages in tricky situations’
2) Tre Azam – ‘How I got to be the greatest’
1) Katie Hopkins – Bitch, bitch, bitch!
And finally…
Worst Apprentice 2007
Rory Laing – for being completely useless (fired in the second task), overbearing (‘I AM your boss’), contradictory (telling his team to stop swearing as he finds it 'horrible' and then going on to tell them that he goes 'f***ing crazy for discipline'), indulging in the worst kind of management techniques (everybody having to take their jackets off to brainstorm ideas, whilst keeping his on to show he was the 'leader') and generally floundering along completely out of his depth.
Favourite Apprentice 2007
Tre Azam – For coming up with so many hilarious quotes ('That's just what I need, a lightweight folding wheelchair!'), never holding back on his opinions and managing to annoy just about everybody, and just being incredibly arrogant whie at the same time being pretty intelligent and accurate in everything he said. The man made brilliant TV – Tre, you're a genius!
MSN Entertainment (http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/tv/realitytv/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5243698)
by Dom Brookman, MSN Homepage Editor
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Apprentice Awards 2007
So The Apprentice has finished, after a rollercoaster 12-week ride. Sir Alan hired 27-year-old internet entrepreneur Simon Ambrose over the favourite, sales manager Kristina Grimes. Re-live the highlights with our special round-up of all the highs and lows.
Classic moments
3) Tre and Simon's 'The Odd Couple' routine – demonstrated with a montage of clips in You're Hired.
2) Tre and Rory's argument in the dog accessory task. 'I AM your boss,' says Rory, trying pointlessly to assert authority. 'You're nothing to me,' replies Tre dismissively.
1) Simon's almost pornographic display whilst attaching the legs to his trampoline on live television. The studio floor crew wetting themselves… Sir Alan watching aghast… Simon grinning like a fool and proudly stating that 'you can really enjoy yourself.'
Top 10 quotes
10) ‘If you can break bricks with your hands, you can do anything!’ – Ifti Chaudhri
9) ‘When you play eight games of football and you lose six, you're called a bloody loser!' – Sir Alan explains how it works to Katie.
8) 'Saying I'm going to take you on holiday with Rory, Jadine and Lohit is like saying I'm going to stab you in the eye with a rusty screwdriver.' – Tre's not all that keen on Simon's offered incentive for winning the final task.
7) ’Kristina is a complete snake in the grass, a pain in the **** and frankly too orange to be taken seriously.’ – Katie (a bit rich considering her 1980s make-up catastrophes).
6) ‘Nipples and fish – what a combination.’ – Obviously not the type of pictures Tre hangs on the walls of his global offices.
5) ‘I know that life's not always biscuits and sandwiches’ – nods Jadine Johnson sagely. Nobody knows what she means by this, but we're pretty sure she's right.
4) ‘If you are over-talking, I will send you out! OK? I won't have it! Please stop swearing! If you are brainstorming, take your jackets off.’ – Rory Laing tries to take control.
3) ‘Whenever there’s an issue, Kristina tries to cover her ****. It’s a shame she doesn’t do it a little better with the skirt she wears.’ – Katie Hopkins sticks the knife in… again.
2) 'There'll be no busty blonde outside so you can sob into her bosoms.' – Sir Alan lets the gang know what they shouldn't be expecting.
1) ‘When your best friends are Mr Pinot and Mr Grigio, you want to watch it.’ – always said with a smile, Katie's insults are legendary.
Top 5 Sir Alan moments
5) Not being able to ‘get over the lips’ on the selling pictures task.
4) Calling Eclipse’s lollypops ‘sick on a stick’.
3) Being so cross in the aftermath of Episode 1 that he shouts ‘Nillywilly’ in the Boardroom.
2) His very good impression of a Little Britain 'laydee' ('Ooooh! We've got them in small, medium and large!') as he demonstrated his sympathy for Lohit having to sell women's underwear on television. 'As if he's interested in tight panty girdles…'
1) Giving it straight to Katie in You're Hired after seeing all her bitchy comments towards Kristina throughout the series.
Top 3 Nick and Margaret moments
3) Nick getting impatient with Stealth’s gardening task. ‘Their strategy is appalling... badly organised... aimless... waste of time.’
2) Margaret getting to grips with ‘beat boys’ and ‘bump and grind’.
1) Nick’s ‘lips made for sin’ leer at Katie in You’re Fired.
Best Tasks
3) Selling English food in a French market – Paul thinking that industrial size blocks of cheddar from Macro would appeal to the French… Adam's banner stating that they were selling 'Traditional Products of English Man'… the look on Katie's face when she realised that loverboy Paul had been fired…
2) Selling on live TV – how quickly the mighty fall….
1) Marketing trainers - Simon’s rapping, Tre’s look of disgust… classic episode.
Worst Tasks
3) Selling coffee – the first task is always one of the lesser episodes – too many people to get to know too quickly.
2) Buying the list of items at the lowest price possible – I never want to hear the phrase 'nigella seeds' again.
1) Selling to the trade – uninteresting products, no real comedy moments or classic quotes, and watching Jadine's unhappiness was uncomfortable.
Most cringeworthy moments
5) Kristina not being able to handle a steam broom during the live TV task.
4) Any of Katie’s shameless flirting with Sir Alan.
3) Simon bounding gleefully on the trampoline on live TV.
2) Jadine’s attempt at ‘singing’ in the office.
1) Simon rapping and ‘street dancing’ – he’s so ‘street’.
Top 5 feuds
5) Adam v Natalie (zoo task)
4) Naomi v Jadine (providing a service task)
3) Tre v Jadine (selling coffee task)
2) Kristina v Katie (pick an episode!)
1) Tre v Rory (dog accessory task, and the final episode)
The Frances the receptionist award for best receptionist
1) Frances the receptionist
Worst personal website
3) Ghazal Asif – www.ghazalasif.com – Still waiting for her Apprentice reflections (‘Coming soon – week by week diary!’). Ghazal love, the series has finished! And her obvious inability to use apostrophes… be it selling £12 lippy’s… with my father’s change of businesses’… the do's and dont's.
2) Adam Hosker – www.adamhosker.co.uk – Dull, dull, dull. Quite fitting to his personality however.
1) Geri Blackwood – www.gerriblackwood.com – How old are you woman?! And you want to be taken seriously as an entrepreneur?
Most likely to get their own tabloid column
3) Paul Callaghan – ‘Cooking sausages in tricky situations’
2) Tre Azam – ‘How I got to be the greatest’
1) Katie Hopkins – Bitch, bitch, bitch!
And finally…
Worst Apprentice 2007
Rory Laing – for being completely useless (fired in the second task), overbearing (‘I AM your boss’), contradictory (telling his team to stop swearing as he finds it 'horrible' and then going on to tell them that he goes 'f***ing crazy for discipline'), indulging in the worst kind of management techniques (everybody having to take their jackets off to brainstorm ideas, whilst keeping his on to show he was the 'leader') and generally floundering along completely out of his depth.
Favourite Apprentice 2007
Tre Azam – For coming up with so many hilarious quotes ('That's just what I need, a lightweight folding wheelchair!'), never holding back on his opinions and managing to annoy just about everybody, and just being incredibly arrogant whie at the same time being pretty intelligent and accurate in everything he said. The man made brilliant TV – Tre, you're a genius!
MSN Entertainment (http://entertainment.uk.msn.com/tv/realitytv/article.aspx?cp-documentid=5243698)