Have Meeta's moans come to an end? Will Bridget be booted? Will
it be sunny in Bocas Del Toro?? The answer to the latter of the
three questions is of course no, unfortunately.
When they said the new show was going to be gritty, there was no
need to go as far as offer us weather to the equivalent of Weston-Super-Mare.
I bet those Caravaners in Survivor Sucks had a much sunnier time,
living it up Canvey Island. Still, back to Panama.
It's now Day 11, and after Tayfun's departure North Island look
unsurprisingly boring. There's no no-one to bitch about, no-one
to make fun of, we're left with just Meeta swearing three times
in every sentence. South aren't being particuarly interesting either.
Today is time for the 3rd Reward Challenge, called Ambassador's
Visit. Basically, the tribes pick someone to spend time with the
opposite tribe, getting to know each other, and then will be quizzed
on what they've learned later in the afternoon by Mark MkII. Susannah
is selected for South Island, and Helen is selected from North.
This challenge also explains what some people thought to be either
a switch or an early merge after Susannah was seen saying "Nice
to finally meet you" to Alastiar in the trailer last week. Could
have been more fun with a switch, or even an early merge, at least
the real bitching + plotting would be sparked off. Susannah is picked
up from South first by helicopter, and is quickly lifted over to
North Island, where she disembarks and Helen is flown over. Both
of the girls have gifts for the tribes. Susannah brings a mini Football
(no-one brought it as a luxury item, and wouldn't have been washed
up from the Panamanian coast, so could it be possible there's been
a Mick style smuggling. Could they have checked everywhere during
the search?), Lee's leftover underwear (why this would be considered
a gift is still beyond me) and a large Conch Shell they found. Quite
a lot of gifts there, could be put to good use somehow. North however,
have given South a comb. One whole entire comb!! Lucky South!! North
Island converse quite openly with an evidently terrified Susannah.
But, she's determined to still steal the show, no matter how, and
compliments North Island on everything about their camp. Everything,
even the s***pit. Very nice of her.
Meeta is not pleased with Susannah's kiss-### tactics though. Having
said that, there's very little she has been pleased with. She says
Susannah is a complete Drama Queen (yup), completly false (yup)
and someone will backstab her on the way to the million (hopefully).
Rather than bitching, South have a different tactic. John and Jonny
leave Helen alone with Bridget, who's incoherant babbling about
anything and everything, ranging from jellyfish to fires. Doesn't
that sound like fun now? In the afternoon, at about 2pm, the tribes
are called to a larger island, in the middle of a wood for some
obscure reason, for the challenge part of the challenge. Mark asks
the contestants questions about the other tribe, and the first person
to get one wrong, loses. Both Helen and Susannah get the first four
correct, but Helen guesses incorrectly at the youngest member of
South (she thought Susannah was older than 32, hee hee).
South win their third challenge on the trot. Not few days for them
really. Their Reward: Everything you need for an island party, food,
beers and a Karaoke machine (you'd think the lack of a plug socket
might cause problems for this section of the reward. Oh no!! How
wrong you are. This is TV after all) South Island return to their..
island to find everything has all been set up for them. The crack
open the beers, munch on the food (steady on, you'll need a good
appetite for the next Immunity Challenge) and start up the Karaoke.
After a variety of appaling songs, performed equally as appalingly,
up steps Susannah to sing "Fly Me To The Moon" much in a much lower
pitch than Sinatra himself or possibly even Barry White could ever
manage. This isn't good viewing at all. Evidentally the hybrid of
Pop Idol and Survivor isn't working, so let's move onto a less chirpy
Day 12.
South Island wake up feeling particuarly worse for wear, not as
a result of a hangover, but particuarly in the case of Susannah,
their voices have taken a battering. Bridget is still adamant that
she is going to go should they lose the upcoming challenge, which
would make no surprise really, as the S.N.O.B alliance will be particuarly
keen to draw blood after going without backstabbing for at least
5 days now. The Immunity Challenge will provide a plentiful feast
for all the survivors, as today is the now regular gross-out challenge.
On today's menu... - A Bull's Testicle - One Live Crab - A Variety
of Worms - Locusts - A Whole Fish's Eyeball - A Beetle A wheel with
these items is spinned and the survivors each have to try one of
the Panamanian delicacies. First up, Alistair, John and a rather
large fish eyeball. Both men successfully finish their eyeball (never
though I'd say that), albeit with a lot of flinching and twitching
from both ex-Army servicemen. Drew + Bridget, and have chosen the
bull's testicle, traditionally eaten with Salt + Vinegar. You listening
out there Walkers?
Once again, after a lot of odd looks both girls get it down, but
Bridget for some reason feels the needs to say 'feels like it just
came in my mouth'. Thanks for the rather disconserting thought Bridget.
Dave + Jonny are faced with the beetle, of which the head must be
bitten off before it can be consumed. After some rather alarming
scenes which will have Animal Rights groups on ITV's back, both
beetles are swallowed. Helen and Susannah have to eat the Panamanian
Earthworms, still live on their plates. They manage to drop them
on the floor, but retrieve them and finish them off. Finally, it's
Meeta and John with the white worms. Meeta proclaims "I fucking
knew it", which is rather a surprising statement from one such as
Meeta as usually you'd expect to hear at least three expletives
in that sentence. Both survivors get them down eventually. John
does it rather easily, but Meeta has to hold her neck and appear
to strangle herself to force it down. Whatever works love. It's
five a piece (was it ever not going to be?) and the tribes have
to nominate someone from the other side to partake in an eating
contest of sorts. North pick squeemish Jonny, and South pick, pass
out on the floor kinda squeemish Meeta. Mark reveals their smorgasboard
of delights. Two locusts, two more whiteworms, and one live crab.
The first person to finish them all, wins for their tribe. Both
seem pretty good up until the crabs. Whilst Jonny's escapes from
the situation and runs all over the floor, Meeta's tactic is to
bash the poor thing to pieces until it's dead. If the beetles didn't
get the RSPCA fired up, this surely will, assuming crabs come under
the RSPCA's juristiction. But Jonny somehow manages to finish off
the crab first and win Immunity for the South Islanders. For North
Island, it's Tribal Council tommorow.
North are now pretty low, the food is going through their digestive
system and Tribal Council is going through their head. All are feeling
homesick, in particular Meeta and Dave, but they all have to pull
themselves together fairly quick, as after Tribal Council, they
have to go into the merger on equal terms, and can't afford to relax
or contemplate for one minute. In South, John, Jonny and Susannah's
alliance hasn't had much to do, and with no 'slaughters' in six
days, an untrusting air is sweeping through. John believes that
Jonny is being 'the grey man' and trying to reinforce himself with
Susannah. You'd think they'd be worried about the impending merge,
but they seem pre-occupied with their little differences. That will
probably be their undoing at the merge. Still, we'll have to wait.
It's now time for a Tribal Council as equally boring, predictable
and untense as the last three. Over the past three days Meeta has
repeated her desire to leave. She says she has now realized her
lifestyle was wrong, and now wants to settle down to marry her boyfriend
and have kids. To reinforce the notion that the Survivors are just
too nice this time (no Eve's/Jayne's or Richard's) they all vote
out of good natured pity. All four vote for Meeta, and all four
put little smily faces on the paper and give reason's such as "She
has a lovely smile, it'll be sad to see her go". Awwwwww.. how sweet.
Meeta doesn't make her vote any more interesting, "Helen, your a
great girl, and I'm only doing this as your the least likely to
be voted off at merger, and it's best for you to have that previous
vote".
The votes are read out, and Meeta leaves the island. Lasted longer
than her Survivor 1 counterpart Uzma, but the weak ones always have
to go. Next week: The all important merge. Does the new tribe have
a good name or another crappy one like 'Center Island' or 'Merged
Island', and we get to find out the wildest place Bridget has ever
had sex (for those who actually want to know).
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